Today I’m thinking about…iPads and the ubiquitous Dandy

January 28, 2010 § 4 Comments

Every girl and her dog will be blogging about the new iPad today as a revelation, the beginnings of a revolution or an utterly revolting example of the consumer-culture being fed from the pig troughs once again for a nominal fee of $499. Yet, while I find the futuristic and evidently bold endeavours of Apple to be fascinating (‘let’s take the touch and make it BIG’), what I find more fascinating is the reaction.

Now, I’m going to come across as wildly sexist here, so bear with me, but I’ve always found Apple products to be a little girly. With their slim design, curved shape, sleek colours, penchant to skew toward the more creative industries and easy handling, it’s always seemed as though Apple had more X than Y in their chromosomes. I honestly believe that initially they were marketing toward the female gender more than their PC counterparts. To be straight with you, half the reason I bought this damned Macbook is because it was small and dainty, unlike my boxy silver Lenovo that I formerly carted about town.

The iPad?


Today I’m thinking about…the true meaning of Atheism

January 27, 2010 § 5 Comments

Religion is always an awkward topic to broach with friends. Even with the best intentions and the most open of minds, inevitably some kind of irreconcilable conflict will emerge from the most innocent of places. I believe that this comes about by the very nature of belief itself.

The Flemish are a very attractive people, OK! I have needs!

After all, the Hundred Years' War started because the English believed they deserved a little French wine and the French believed they deserved Flanders...for some reason.

It’s not exactly what you believe, but the very fact that you do that sets you apart from another. To share a belief is something magical, like the belief that wrapping your bacon with maple syrup smothered pancakes is ALWAYS a good idea or the belief that Stanley Kubrick is the most over-rated director of all time. When you find that amazing person to cohabit within these beliefs, it becomes a reassuring affirmation in a very antagonistic world.

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Today I’m thinking about…absolutely nothing.

January 17, 2010 § Leave a comment

So here, have some 90’s nostalgia instead.

Today I’m thinking about…sperm fighting the feminist revolution.

January 16, 2010 § Leave a comment

I once saw a very B-grade film called ‘The Last Man on Earth’. It was about a woman living in a near future where the Y chromosome had gone extinct in human beings. Yep, a world without penis. Heaven forbid.

This girly world had vast technology (but…women don’t do science), where sperm was being created from the female egg and therefore lesbian couples everywhere were having very lesbian babies. Unfortunately, the protagonist did not enjoy a scuba dive into clam town. In fact, she became so desperate for the rooster that she bioengineered (more sciencing) herself an embryo that would become a male. She proceeded to implant the fertilised egg into her own womb and gave birth to a baby boy 3 weeks later, having accelerated the growth exponentially, well, until he reaches man size…conveniently.

At any rate, what followed was the most disturbing love story I’ve ever seen, which made the prospect of a planet inhabited purely by women ever more horrifying.What was interesting about this awful, awful movie was that it was kinda sorta based on real science. Like most good sci-fi, it had it’s roots in scientific findings, the most important of which was the imminent deterioration of the Y chromosome.

Not a surprise, look at the little guy.

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Today I’m thinking about…the redundancy of dating.

January 15, 2010 § 1 Comment

A friend of mine who recently just fell into a relationship said to me the other day that she didn’t understand dating. I found myself laughing and grumbling in agreement over how awful dates were, and how wrong it felt to try to start a relationship with someone you don’t really know.

Starting from scratch is something a lot of women do, rather, a lot of women must do if they wish to have a relationship at all. Yet, as I caught the train home and pondered upon how many of my relationships eventuated from a first date situation, I realised that the tally came to a big fat zero. That is three long term relationships and three lengthy flings that were born of friendship and nothing else.

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Today I’m thinking about…Man Ray and progress

January 14, 2010 § Leave a comment

“There is no progress in art, any more than there is progress in making love. There are simply different ways of doing it.”

Man Ray (1948) from To Be Continued, Unnoticed.

I’ve never really understood visual art. Hand me a great piece of literature and I will devour it, interpret it, rationalise it, reason with it and love it. Put me infront of a Jackson Pollock and I’ll more than likely see a bunch of squiggly lines, shrug, and move on.

It isn’t that I can’t appreciate some art, I simply have three categories for it; ‘Beautiful’, ‘Ugly’ or ‘Stupid’ (otherwise known as ‘A 2 year old could do that with spaghettios and crazy glue’).  One artist that I’ve always put in the beautiful category, particularly for his photography, is Man Ray.

Aside from sounding ever so slightly like a 2 tonne highly intelligent sea creature, Man Ray was a great purveyor of numerous art mediums, a Dadaist , a Surrealist and an essayist who was once described as an artist in search of the painter’s philosopher’s stone, which not only speaks highly of his perseverance  and desire, but also reminds me of Harry Potter (which is never a bad thing).

Like a less beardy Dumbledore

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Today I’m thinking about…my Hump Day links.

January 13, 2010 § Leave a comment

For me, hump day is all about procrastination. Suffering work/study fatigue and looking to a weekend full of friends, fun and/or a merciless hangover, I find the only way to get through the day is to wander aimlessly through a minefield. Oh I mean, the internet.

Sure you won’t necessarily explode into a billion tiny pieces from accidentally stumbling upon Family Guy porn or the view from the inside of an 80 year old’s colon, but that doesn’t mean the internet isn’t a dangerous place. In between scouring through the convoluted warblings of a 14 year old’s livejournal, and the relentless onslaught of ‘cute kitty pounces on paper-towel’ youtube links,  searching for that great read or that amazing video you just have to show all your friends can feel like just as much work as what you’re supposed to be doing.

So let me do the suffering for you. Here are some things that I think you should check out, in stead of doing your real work.

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